Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Joke of the day!' started by Willametteriveroutlaw, Mar 31, 2021.

  1. Guy boards a flight with a dead raccoon.
    Flight attendant says "sir, you are going to have to check that"
    "Don't worry. It's carrion"

    Therapist: What brings you here today?
    Me:My phobia of tsunamis
    Therapist: Please describe the symptoms
    Me:It comes in waves

    What did the elephant say to the naked man?
    How do you breathe through that little thing?

    I asked a builder for a quote the other day...
    He said “One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind - Neil Armstrong"

    My wife totally changed when she became a vegan...
    It's like I never knew herbivore.

    My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"
    Wife: “Whatever means necessary.”
    Me: “No it doesn’t.”

    I told my friend that I’ve always fancied Beyoncé.
    He said; “Whatever floats your boat”
    I replied “No - that’s buoyancy”
    Johnson likes this.